Simon
and the Schoenherrs
Welcome. Nothing too
dangerous here. Just us Schoenherrs
Bios
Simon
is an English Springer Spaniel who was born on July 16, 1998. The
runt of the litter, he was irresistible to Jenn and Chris. He has
been living with the Schoenherrs since September of that year.
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Aliases: Simon
the Bear, Simosaurus, and Simonoid.
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His favorite
pastimes include chewing on his friend Trixie, chasing his cousin Skipper,
putting his nose in the ears of the unprepared, and running, running, running.
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His arch enemy
is the blow dryer and it's evil cousin, the vacuum
cleaner. He maintains the hope that someday he will triumph
over these noisy foes. Actually, he hopes to someday be brave enough
to stay in the same room.
-
Simon's three
favorite snacks are carrots, ice cubes, and lint. He will do just
about anything for any of these three items. (About the lint: We
love him, but he isn't always that bright.)
Click
here
for more pictures of Simon
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Jenn
is the ferocious redhead residing in the Schoenherr household. Her
ferocious nature is displayed in the following situations:
-
When she is woken
up before 11:00 a.m.
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When she is woken
up from her 7:00 p.m. nap.
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When she is woken
up from napping in the car.
-
When she is woken
up from her Saturday afternoon nap.
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When she is prevented
from taking any of her naps.
When Chris
is generally harassing her. Most often, this harassment interferes
with a nap.
Jenn back
in her wild days
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Our
last resident is Chris. The only way he could be described
as ferocious is if it's possible for someone to channel surf ferociously,
read ferociously, or eat cookies ferociously.
He is the
son of Siberian immigrants who tunneled to America during the Great Worm
War
of 1962. Raised in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, he gained fame in his
teenage years for his amazing extra vertebrae. He traveled for a
number of years with a band of gypsies as something of a sideshow oddity,
eventually settling down in western Michigan. It was there, at a
Ross Perot presidential rally, he met his future wife, Jennifer.
They seemed a bit of an odd couple: Chris was a free-thinking revolutionary,
and Jenn a religious conservative. Somehow, they managed to win each
others hearts.
Chris at
the rally in in 1992
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